自分の事自分で。

I have been so worn out by all the assignments.  Just came back from school, and yes, on Sunday.  So much design submission, so little time.  I am so tired but no, I am not going to give up.  I will press on. 

I switch on my computer, went to the net and check my mail.  Received an email with an attachment of mp3 from one of my best pal in Singapore.  Little did I know that this song will trigger off so much nostaslgic memories.  I have been away from church for so long. I missed God, seriously I do.  I prayed on my bed that night.  It has been so long since I prayed for my family, for myself.  I missed all the times I have spend in Church with my friends.  I am still enjoying myself occasionally by indulging in those fond memories I have with them. Knowing that someone will be there for you when you needed company, someone to trust in you, believe in you and walk beside you in whatever path you need to take. Never leaving you alone even though sometimes it felt like it.  Thank you Petrisha.  The mp3 has been very revelational.  Seriously, thanks…

Wow… I have finally finished my last paper!!!!!! However, I am quite disappointed with my Weirick’s assignment. I have been penalised 20 marks for not referencing something that I don’t even know I have to. Sad. As for my Technology exam, hmmm… have finished doing the paper, know all the steps but due to one stupid careless mistake, I think my last question is totally gone now. Sigh….

And yes Alan, wake up early (though its too late to tell you that, lol). And congratulate you on your Weirick’s assignment. Well done! High distinction!!!!!!! Wow…. Lol. See what the power of love can do to you…. Lol! Is that the reason why you went to her place yesterday? Hmmm.. tricky. Haha.

Still on the waiting list for my flight. I might be going back on the 30th Nov 05 so my friends in Singapore, be prepared for my majestic arrival on that day. I shall bring hope to his hope-forsaken world! Haha.

Hmmm… back to my Steven Chow show. Cya!!!!!

Fact 1: Sometimes, I distanced myself away from a group because I am afraid of losing my friends.  To feel lonely by one’s own solitude is better than feeling lonely in a group.  As said by Francis Bacon, “The worst solitude is to be destitute of sincere friendship” .  Guess I am just trying to prevent that from happening. 

Fact 2: Opps… Alan has just found out about me discovering his blog site. Arg, I thought I have hide it well.  Haha. No more juicy news and secrets for me to indulge in anymore.  Lol !!!!

Fact 3: When you do something, always give your best shot.  At least that is what I believe in when I am working on my assignment.  Hehe…

Fact 4: I am missing someone dearly in Singapore!  Too bad she is not able to join me in Sydney this Nov…..

Fact 5: James is James.

Fact 6: I am bored.

Fact 7: I am really worried for my “Landscape Technology” exam!

Fact 8: I am sleepy….

Fact 9: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.. nitez

Hmm. A new start for me.  Have learnt to take things easy. Sometimes, one will feel so much better to accept the things that one can’t change.  Guess I just have to stop trying to change something I can’t.  It was hard, very hard at least for me.  Been trying not to think about it.  Not asking anything anymore.  Dun wanna always be the one to take the initiative.  Time for others to take the first step.  No point forcing others to do things that they are not interested in

Still trying…..

Phewwww…… I have finally finished my research report on the ancient Japanese Imperial Villa during the Edo era in Kyoto where the Tokugawa Shogun have all the say in all political issues rather than the Emperor.  Now… three more assignments to go.  Photography Exhibition, InDesign and Powerpoint presentation….. Just a bit more.  Stand firm!  Be strong! Haha.  The trip to Bondi Beach for my site analysis was fun.  We took measurement for our site, taking down all the necessary information about the site like how the contours line run, what are the view from the site and etc.  And Alan chose a very challenging site to work on.  But hey, this fellow is good (in bullshitting. Lol).  He can make sense of things that doesn’t seem to make sense to anyone else.  And the amazing part is… people actually gets “enlighten” and starts to see the light too… Heaps of things to learn from him, especially the bullshitting part. Mwahaha! Good on him! Anyway, got to go now.  Back to work……….

Good news. I have finally finished one of my assignments after days and days of brain wrecking effort. 

Bad news. The pc just gave up on me and the folder that I have saved all my assignment in cannot be open at all.  Something is seriously wrong with my printer and you cannot print anything at all, can’t even uninstall that stupid printer driver. 

Good news.  Managed to get my buddy from Melbourne to help through the phone and finally, uninstall the printer driver.  Oh, and I have also found some backup files of my assignment.  Hooray…….  But wait, there is more to come.

Bad news.  Having problems now to reinstall the driver = no printer

Even more bad news.  Have to redo some of my assignment since the “backup” doesn’t contain everything I have done so far.

All these = BAD DAY (and trust me.  Nothing can be worse especially when that assignment is due in 2 days time!)

Oh God, help meeeeeeeee…………………….. This is so bad….

Hey, It’s my mom’s birthday yesterday! Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to dear mom, Happy birthday to you! Aha!!!

Thanks to all the well wishers. It’s really nice to know that there are still caring souls like that all over.  Pay more attention and you will be able to see all the amazing things around you.  Little things like watching the sunrise, walking along the beach or even chatting on the phone are the few small little miracles in our life that one always fail to see.  Thank you all once again. You guys have just fashioned hope right out of thin air!  Count myself blissful?  Perhaps.  Thank you guys once again. Makes me feel so much better to know that there are people who care and share the same thoughts with you.

ありがとう　ございました　ね！　ちょっと幸せの気持ちがも一度ある事見たいね。

Sigh, time to go back to my assignments, assignments that seem not possible to be completed.  Back to reality……

No one like you

Innocent as a newborn in a world so fright’ning
It’s as if my world’s been struck by lightning
Ev’ry dream I abandoned, seems it could come true
I believe in miracles, there’s no one like you

Sarah Brightman

Spring is here. My first spring in Sydney. Its getting warmer and everyone is getting all excited over the heat which totally make no sense to someone who has been living and staying somewhere that experience Summer all year round. Oh, how I prefer Winter…… Just started this blog and I have no idea what to write but I guess I have to start somewhere. Blog, a very good way of listing your thoughts, especially true when you can find no one to talk to or turn to. Its pretty tough when you are all alone isn’t it? I dun know about you but I am not build for “solo living”. And yet ironically, I cannot bring myself to trust the people around. My past experiences told me that, so blame “it”, not me. I have always been cultured and nurtured in that way. Its weird to some people but that’s life for me. And its just not me to be able to take things easy. Friends have the upmost importance to me so that probably explains why. Friends are like my finest possession and assets. Now you tell me how to take things easy. There has been too many occasion where people look for you only when they need your help. And when you have been “squeeze dry” of the benefits you are offering, you are now being put aside like they have never known or seen you before. Sad? But true. People that I have trusted so much have all now become strangers to me. From one extreme to another. All the past promises are no longer valid. How I enjoy the time when we were sharing our thoughts but that’s history. Flabbergasted at how things could turn out this way. Need someone to talk to but have no idea who to approach at all. Someone that is willing to listen and not feel that I am an irritant or whatsoever. Someone to understand and not to think that I am a weirdo. And also, someone that I don’t feel that I am being a burden to. Someone… just that someone.

Burden

Relishment on lure

Just to fall again and again

Like the tides hitting the shore

Or the Rain beating the Land

Becoming to others A Burden

Trying hard to Stand

On my own’s strength

Trying not to dwell

On my own’s will

Didn’t think it works

A Burden once again

Life and Death

Don’t really comprehend

Problem and solutions

Not within my grasp

Here I am again

Fallen to the deep

Think I’ve done it once again

A great burden I am

James Lim 08/04/05 12.27am (Sydney)